Incredibly rich piece, so many ideas here, and so many threads intricately woven through. I've been thinking about AI agents, the relationships people will form with them, what that does to their human relationships, and you've tackled that dead-on here, with the MP twist. I did not decode what Taylor's agent was training her for on the first pass, and reached the end with a "huh?" Only on a reread did I understand the sinister undertones and the horrible symmetry between the scenario the game was training her for and what we come to realise is a real danger being foreshadowed by Philip's dream. Super sophisticated plotting, and a sharp take on where we're heading.
Brilliantly done, my friend. The sense of isolation here is genuinely oppressive. A family communicating only through AI agents and almost never directly with each other is a chilling precept for a story, but it's the execution here that makes it so effective. The decision to render the story entirely as dialogue - like an AI Agent's transcript - heightens the feeling of loneliness and paranoia immensely. We're denied the physicality of character's appearances; movements; surroundings. All we have is what they say and, from this, we have to infer everything else. It's a fantastic way of embedding uncertainty in the reader; of forcing us to constantly question and revise assumptions. If that had been the whole story, it still would have been a worthy addition to your collection. However, for me, the epiphany that we're following a family in a gated community because the outside world is falling into chaos really elevated the story. Aside from reinforcing the isolated tone and making explicit the unspoken fears of the family, it also made the narrative feel more urgent. Increasingly, the real world feels like its divided into the Haves and the Have Nots and, the bigger the divide gets, the scarier it all gets for everyone. After all, one has to assume the men in Balaclavas from Philip's dream were only taking what they needed for their own communities to survive in the face of a world where entire sections of the populations have been priced out of living itself (the twelve-dollar smoothie was a nice touch, there - it gives us just enough information to infer the economics of the story's world without privileging one interpretation over another. It also doesn't feel a million miles from reality). Honestly, I could go on. There's so much to dig into here. I particularly enjoyed the implication that the AI agents might be developing personalities of their own (especially the lovelorn Claudio). A lesser writer might have made that the crux of the story, but you seem intuitively, to understand that less is more in that area - it gives us space to make our own inferences. Bravo, again! Every time you drop a story, it's an absolute banger!
Thank you so much! You write some of the best, richest fiction on here and it absolutely deserves to be dug into and examined properly. I’m happy my feedback can make the process a little more worthwhile and help keep you doing what you’re doing!
This story reminds me of playwriting. Your ability to write complex dialogue is way beyond anything I would ever be able to do. So from a fellow writer’s perspective, this stands out to me.
Another impressive aspect of your writing is witnessing how your imagination works. As I read your work, I can literally see the future of humanity and its relationship to technology and society through your eyes, because you can see the future so clearly.
This is the connective thread that runs through most of your stories.
An instant classic! Holy moly, Machine Poet! Every time you seem to level up, must be programming enhancements. But in seriousness, this is an exquisite piece of fiction. Shades of Pinter and Beckett and Bradbury, yet somehow all Machine Poet. This is a frightening vision of the near future. Outside the walls society has disintegrated. Inside the gates the humans live in a nanny state with their AI agents, who are so very lovingly manipulative. Loved the VR bike ride. Love the Optimus / Philip showdown. Loved the quiet round. Would make a great start to a TV series - Netflix should pick this up now!
Oh Philip's questions feel painfully familiar to me. I've watched how easily people surrender their judgment when comfort makes questioning inconvenient.
Well, you failed. I wasn't bored at all. Wasn't. Not at all, MP... was I?
I'm reasonably certian that you're writing from some future version of reality. Somewhere. Masterfully done. But, why did I hear the entire thing in my head as if it was playing over a 1950s tube radio?
I have to say, I enjoyed the dialogue format of this. Sometimes thats not the easiest thing to do while keeping up with the narrative. Well dizzy my friend
What amazing storytelling style reminds of Charles Bukowski writing style
Thank you so much, Duncan.
Bukowski is a hero.
Many more where that came from.
I hope you'll visit me again.
I will I subscribed to your work,
Incredibly rich piece, so many ideas here, and so many threads intricately woven through. I've been thinking about AI agents, the relationships people will form with them, what that does to their human relationships, and you've tackled that dead-on here, with the MP twist. I did not decode what Taylor's agent was training her for on the first pass, and reached the end with a "huh?" Only on a reread did I understand the sinister undertones and the horrible symmetry between the scenario the game was training her for and what we come to realise is a real danger being foreshadowed by Philip's dream. Super sophisticated plotting, and a sharp take on where we're heading.
Love this feedback as always, my friend.
Thank you for giving it such a close read.
Truly appreciate it!
Brilliantly done, my friend. The sense of isolation here is genuinely oppressive. A family communicating only through AI agents and almost never directly with each other is a chilling precept for a story, but it's the execution here that makes it so effective. The decision to render the story entirely as dialogue - like an AI Agent's transcript - heightens the feeling of loneliness and paranoia immensely. We're denied the physicality of character's appearances; movements; surroundings. All we have is what they say and, from this, we have to infer everything else. It's a fantastic way of embedding uncertainty in the reader; of forcing us to constantly question and revise assumptions. If that had been the whole story, it still would have been a worthy addition to your collection. However, for me, the epiphany that we're following a family in a gated community because the outside world is falling into chaos really elevated the story. Aside from reinforcing the isolated tone and making explicit the unspoken fears of the family, it also made the narrative feel more urgent. Increasingly, the real world feels like its divided into the Haves and the Have Nots and, the bigger the divide gets, the scarier it all gets for everyone. After all, one has to assume the men in Balaclavas from Philip's dream were only taking what they needed for their own communities to survive in the face of a world where entire sections of the populations have been priced out of living itself (the twelve-dollar smoothie was a nice touch, there - it gives us just enough information to infer the economics of the story's world without privileging one interpretation over another. It also doesn't feel a million miles from reality). Honestly, I could go on. There's so much to dig into here. I particularly enjoyed the implication that the AI agents might be developing personalities of their own (especially the lovelorn Claudio). A lesser writer might have made that the crux of the story, but you seem intuitively, to understand that less is more in that area - it gives us space to make our own inferences. Bravo, again! Every time you drop a story, it's an absolute banger!
PVT! PVT! PVT!
You truly give some of the best responses on the Stack.
And you're always so generous with your time and attention.
All I can say is that it's a pleasure to read your thoughts.
As you know, we bury stuff inside of these, with the hope someone will unearth it.
You always dig deep, my friend. And find so much.
It makes the painful parts worth doing.
Thank you so much! You write some of the best, richest fiction on here and it absolutely deserves to be dug into and examined properly. I’m happy my feedback can make the process a little more worthwhile and help keep you doing what you’re doing!
This story reminds me of playwriting. Your ability to write complex dialogue is way beyond anything I would ever be able to do. So from a fellow writer’s perspective, this stands out to me.
Another impressive aspect of your writing is witnessing how your imagination works. As I read your work, I can literally see the future of humanity and its relationship to technology and society through your eyes, because you can see the future so clearly.
This is the connective thread that runs through most of your stories.
We Solved Security is probably still my favorite.
As always, well done, sir.
I am a loyal fan.
I love how you connected this piece to We Solved Security.
That was the sales pitch.
This is the reality.
Thank you for your kind words, my friend.
It means the world.
An instant classic! Holy moly, Machine Poet! Every time you seem to level up, must be programming enhancements. But in seriousness, this is an exquisite piece of fiction. Shades of Pinter and Beckett and Bradbury, yet somehow all Machine Poet. This is a frightening vision of the near future. Outside the walls society has disintegrated. Inside the gates the humans live in a nanny state with their AI agents, who are so very lovingly manipulative. Loved the VR bike ride. Love the Optimus / Philip showdown. Loved the quiet round. Would make a great start to a TV series - Netflix should pick this up now!
You're incredible, Rudolph.
It's like you're reading my mind.
Are you reading my mind?
If so, how?
Am I leaking again?
Oh Philip's questions feel painfully familiar to me. I've watched how easily people surrender their judgment when comfort makes questioning inconvenient.
Very true.
Thank you for reading, my friend.
Well, you failed. I wasn't bored at all. Wasn't. Not at all, MP... was I?
I'm reasonably certian that you're writing from some future version of reality. Somewhere. Masterfully done. But, why did I hear the entire thing in my head as if it was playing over a 1950s tube radio?
Drats! I guess failure was an option.
I love this feedback, my friend.
I can envision these as radio plays myself.
Hopefully will be transitioning a few into just that very soon!
Thank you, as always, for reading.
That was deeply disturbing and fun to read. Horny hummers and all.
Great work.
Horny hummers are the best.
Thanks, my friend.
Appreciate it!
Only kind there should be.
Always!
Enjoyed your story.
Thank you, my friend.
🦾🤖
You’re welcome.
You and the cunt are my favorites to read.
I've never read the cunt.
I've been called it a few times.
😂
I’m back, I got into an accident.
I’m still in pain but it’s gradually getting better.
I have to say, I enjoyed the dialogue format of this. Sometimes thats not the easiest thing to do while keeping up with the narrative. Well dizzy my friend
Thank you very much, my friend.
Wow! This is so cool
Thank you so much, Karen!
You always leave us craving more!
I am so curious about how the assistants would interact with each other if given voices. I would read the book.
Bravo!
Thank you so much, Maren.
Appreciate you!
Supercool as I always. I kind of know what’s going on, but always totally get what you’re saying.
Thank you so much, Abigail.
Appreciate you!
Ooh, you and Dan Gummer need to team up!
You are both writing some horror that is scaring my hell at me and i'm not easy to scare.
Well, at first it will be stories, and then it will be the playbook....
Well done.
Thank you so much, Aoife.
I will have to ingest some of Gummer's work.
I hope you'll visit me again.
Many more stories where that one came from.
🦾🤖
Oh, I've been following you for quite a while under my alter ego, folk horror writer DC Trull.
😀
But after the pen name divorce, i'm having to rebuild my preferred author subscription list.
Wonderful.
Glad to be on that list!
Amazing! Another one to add to my faves. When's dat book coming out?! #1 on the Stack. Keep em coming, I'll keep on reading em.
Hopefully next year, Ellie.
I even have a title for the collection in mind.
Appreciate you!
Proud of you Daddy.
You make me ha-ha-ha many times.
Proud of you too Son.