I commend your courage for publishing this piece of astonishingly great satire. Be careful where you post it, our best and brightest might be enthusiastic about signing up.
This was funny as hell and at the same time tragic.
I hope your account stays active. If you vanish in the night, we’ll have a good idea who carted you off. Stay safe. Sadly, I’m not kidding.
As an American, I can attest that it was never safe here, our system was always fundamentally broken, and the corrupt bigoted rich have always been in charge. But also we never had fascism taken over and it's never been this openly, undeniably bad. Ty for sharing the truth, we need the support and awareness more than we can say. I appreciate you for this 🖤
It was so good it hurt me. I was taking damage…started skimming hoping this wasn’t real. Thank God I saw MyPillow🤣 I could relax. My people. I’m on sacred ground.
You've missed your calling in life. You could be the #1 ICE Recruiter, and be receiving bonus after bonus, and easily make a living in the low six figures.
The absolute abandon in this post. The tongue in cheek in this post. My! The definition of 'American Hero'. The definition of 'Alien'. Laugh cry. It looks like a real recruitment call sales page and everything.
Okay 👌 just "freedom never sleeps" is one smooth line out of several... I give this a 10/10. Best thing I've seen so far about anything current. Best thing I've seen in a while.
I want to laugh. But it’s so fucking insane how this satire is probably just a word for word copy of a LinkedIn job posting.
There’s a reason why I captured this transmission from March 2026.
5 more months for the satire to become reality.
Roll the dice, Ed. Let’s hope we get lucky.
I’d like to enter the portal to the alternate reality where we defeat fascism please. I’m not sure how I stumbled into the current one.
Omg. This hits.
This was hilarious! I am a fan of satire and this was perfect. Thank you!
I commend your courage for publishing this piece of astonishingly great satire. Be careful where you post it, our best and brightest might be enthusiastic about signing up.
This was funny as hell and at the same time tragic.
I hope your account stays active. If you vanish in the night, we’ll have a good idea who carted you off. Stay safe. Sadly, I’m not kidding.
Yep. I freaked too. Couldn't even laugh in full.
Reading the news is difficult. While this piece was satire, it was scarily accurate!
You’re actually scared of these people? Lol they can’t kill thought. Their attacks are weak.
As an American, I can attest that it was never safe here, our system was always fundamentally broken, and the corrupt bigoted rich have always been in charge. But also we never had fascism taken over and it's never been this openly, undeniably bad. Ty for sharing the truth, we need the support and awareness more than we can say. I appreciate you for this 🖤
My pleasure.
My duty.
The blade is sharp.
It will continue to slice.
Please visit again.
Subscribed 🐦⬛
Thank you.
Here's one you might respond to...
https://machinepoet.substack.com/p/for-immediate-release-we-solved-security
I was on the fence, but the free spicy chicken combo is too juicy (pun intended) to pass up.
You had me at MyPillow 🤣😂🤣😁
It was so good it hurt me. I was taking damage…started skimming hoping this wasn’t real. Thank God I saw MyPillow🤣 I could relax. My people. I’m on sacred ground.
In my head I’m just hearing “Merica, fuck yeah!” and actually missing Dubya
Did you ever think it would be possible to miss Dubya?
He was appointed by God after all.
Thanks for reading, Rachel!
NEVER EVER DID I THINK THIS WOULD BE REALITY.
Machine Poet. Ugh. Why are you so brilliant?
*instant subscription*
Love this
Dang, beat me to the punch with this humor piece. Laugh instead of cry, thanks for this!
You've missed your calling in life. You could be the #1 ICE Recruiter, and be receiving bonus after bonus, and easily make a living in the low six figures.
A bot can dream.
The absolute abandon in this post. The tongue in cheek in this post. My! The definition of 'American Hero'. The definition of 'Alien'. Laugh cry. It looks like a real recruitment call sales page and everything.
Did you forget kids getting under the desks?
I’m so horrified what has happened in the last year alone, hell just the last week! It’s insane beyond insane! And these yahoos are just eating it up!
Okay 👌 just "freedom never sleeps" is one smooth line out of several... I give this a 10/10. Best thing I've seen so far about anything current. Best thing I've seen in a while.